Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li’s poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it!

Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, “Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.” Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.”

Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, “You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body.

Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. “Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.” Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find.

Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”

Have you realized that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: “The person who loves others will also be loved in return”.  This is the Power of LOVE.

God might be trying to work in another person’s life through you!

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?… Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would still work things out.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s  around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”,  “Do I always sound so argumentative?”,  “Do I talk too loud?”,  “Does my breath smell?”,  “Do I ever bore you when were together?”.  In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!”  Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her to improve her self.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on.  Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got  10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

actually i don’t have much leave left this year. i guess i have spent most of my leave taking care of the girls and myself as we are very prone to sickness throughout this year, what a bad year 2007 for us.

my colleague has just updated the notice board that she will be away on the last day of the year… this sparks me off… i was just casually mentioned that i wanna to take leave too but worry don’t have enough leave to spend when school opens… you know what.. my colleague has just alerted me that when school opens, it’s already into a new year, i’ll be given new leave entitlement! ya ya.. that’s right.. i’ll have new entitlement for year 2008.

so, what else going to stop me now … hah..hah.. going to pamper myself now. planning to stay way from work starting tomorrow. so today is my last day in work for year 2007. goodbye 2007 and welcome 2008.

happy new year to my dear readers and wish you all to have a blessed and prosperous new year. may luck, health and wealth be with you all year round

2008… i am coming…

So our first experiences of love are physical, and they can’t always be the right choices. Among lots of sad love stories and many more disappointments one can find the right one that makes them complete and safe.

Maybe the word safe turns many hearts away, it may seem wrong to romantic persons, but that is the key that unlock the door to a perfect partner and a perfect relationship.

So, to find the right one we have to look deep inside ourselves and see what our most intimate desires are. We have to know ourselves at the highest level to discover what exactly we expect from others. Once we did that, then we are ready to explore, search the world for the one and if we’re lucky we’ll find our happiness. The first criterion one must rely on is the heart, of course, because where everything is perfect but there’s no love, which is not a relationship, that’s a friendship. So find someone you love and start a relationship. Then, after the first weeks when everything is perfect no matter what, the blindness of love will begin to disappear and you be able to see everything that makes your partner what he/she is: all the qualities and all the defects. Putting everything in balance is the key. Here’s where the second criteria comes forward, a criteria that must be based on reason: here you must think hard and see if you can live forever maybe with the one you love. Most of the times, when nothing is wrong apparently, people go on and on with meaningless relationships that become a habit more that a love. You must, above everything, never do that mistake cause if you do you’ll see the truth too late, when many disappointments changed you and made you more bitter in love.

In conclusion, finding the right partner is easy for everyone that knows how to use his/hers hearts and mind as one. If we suffer a little when we give up on a love that makes us sad and angry, we’ll be plentifully rewarded when we’ll find out we did a right choice and that choice was the one that allowed us to meet and keep the right one next to us.

I keep asking myself: had I made a correct decision to marry this man?

Whenever I think of our situation now, I wonder what would happen if I have not married him. Would things change? Would I be happier? I can’t stop my tears from coming down every time I ask myself what if…

But when I look at my 2 cute and beautiful daughters, I feel even more heartrending. I don’t want them to be the victims. They are so innocent.

It is this thought that awaken me last night when I stared at my gals who have long fallen asleep. They are so sweet and so innocent and happy with daddy and mommy around. I don’t want to hurt them, I don’t want them to suffer. I told myself I have to stop thinking of this anymore.

I got to be discipline, stop thinking whether it is right or wrong to marry him. I can’t let my man know about this either. You guys might be asking what’s the big deal behind the scene.. what trigger me to have this thought…